Junior and the Land of Christmas Specials
by ngrey651
Summary: Junior von Hamsterviel, son of Dr. Hamsterviel, is so very overworked during the Christmas season. Being of high authority in the Galactic Federal Alliance means so, SO much to do! So late one night, the fairy King of La-La-Land who reigneth over Animated Christmas Specials stops by to cheer him up in this touching little tale of Christmas cheer!


It was another long, long day for poor old Junior, son of the infamous Dr. Hamsterviel. It was a boring, dreary, unpleasant day from start to finish. Truly, utterly, absolutely despicable.

**_"Sleigh bells jingling, ring-ting-tingling-"_** His new robotic assistant Splitter remarked, the Cybertronian citizen stringing Christmas lights all over the halls as he hopped from wall to wall, attaching each light like a spider placing a cocoon in a web, little red eyes filled with joy.

Junior immediately whipped out the flare gun from the slightly light-blue vest he wore, his three-digited paw tightening around it as he blasted the lights into a fiery puddle that flopped to the floor, Splitter cringing slightly…somehow…with his mouthless face as Junior stomped by on his enormous rabbit-esque feet, his long ears flattened against his furry white head as the door to the cafeteria opened up.

This time he was greeted by even MORE Christmas lights and decorations, everyone chatting amongst each other, dressed in various different attires. Most noticeably…Lilo. Dear, sweet Lilo. She was in a lovely-looking red, green and white dress with a lovely white flower in her hair as she shook hands with the charming Ambassadors from Vort. Vortians just adored the Earthen holiday of Hanukkah and the Christmas season. They had their own holiday just around the middle of what was the Earthen month of December. In fact, many species did!

So for an entire month everyone in the Galactic Federal Alliance Headquarters got to enjoy a month of cheery partying. Especially when it came to Christmas. There was just something oddly magical about the Christmas season that infected everyone…

Yes, everyone in the station loved Christmas a lot! But the JUNIOR, so frowny, he clearly did not.

"It's always a delight to see you, Lilo." Junior said, hugging her tightly, his tail whipping back and forth with delight as she returned the gentle embrace. After all, she was _ohana_, her son, Grey Nicholas Pelekai? He was the father of Junior's wife Green. The Hamsterviel line now owed an unpayable debt to the Pelekais and their forgiving nature. Yet…even her being here with that cheery little smile and cute button nose and two pupils just like coal couldn't help. "It's just…I'm really beginning to **hate** all this holiday hogwash!" He muttered, walking alongside her as she slightly tilted her head to the side, brown eyes filled with confusion.

"What do you mean?" She wanted to know. "Is it because Green's still on Planet Jennet, helping your son Richard with the Pellet shortage?"

SOME TIME AGO, NOT TOO FAR AWAY…

**"ALL IS LOST! ALL IS LOST!"** People screamed in the streets as Green moaned, tugging her face down with her black claws and shaking her green-furred head back and forth. This was embarrassing. And her son Richard was now chewing on his tail. That was a baaad sign.

"What are we to do? My people are panicking."

"Quit whining, you weenie!" She demanded, grabbing hold of the "rah" and shaking her son slightly. "We've got three more farming techniques to try, one of them is gonna produce results and grow those pellets good and big once again!"

"Why do you keep adding alcohol to them?"

"Trust me. Tis the season. Just like with sex in a porno, when it comes to the Holidays, Alcohol can solve pretty much anything."

PRESENT…

"Everyone's out shopping…everyone's out ice-skating…everyone's having parties, drinking eggnog, hot chocolate, cider!" Junior sighed as he and Lilo strolled down the hall, past lovely paintings of…you guessed it…everyone in Santa Claus attire.

"Yeah, everyone's having a wonderful time!" Lilo remarked cheerily, gesturing at, of all things, the IRKEN ambassador Ms. Tak who was putting a little angel atop a Christmas tree in the hall, cheerily singing.

**_"Mark my footsteps, my good page  
Tread thou in them boldly!  
Thou shalt find the winter's rage,  
Will freeze thy blood less coldly!_**" She then turned to them, giving them a grin. "And this I know from personal experience!"

"Yes. Everyone is having a wonderful time." Junior remarked as he led her to his office, sighing a bit as he put his hand against the door.

**"Security code?"**

"Thumper."

SCA-SCHISH! The doors flung open and a torrent of papers, datapads and packages flooded out of the room, slamming into him and Lilo, sending them careening back as Tak calmly stepped up the ladder a few steps, sighing as she went back to redecorating the tree, Lilo cringing as she rubbed her head, Junior fighting his way to the top of the miniature pool of work he was stuck in.

"Everyone…but me." He finished. "Because I've got twelve hours of paperwork **ALONE**. Not even counting the shipping manifests and relay orders I need to sign for, various requests for funding and guards…" He sighed, shaking his head back and forth, antennae flopping about in the air. "…I'll never get through it. The holidays are awful when you can't enjoy them." He mumbled, looking down at himself, sighing as he dusted himself off. "…oh." He groaned, looking down at his shirt. "I think I've got three papercuts." He remarked, Lilo getting to her own feet as she turned to him, his back to her.

"You're sure it's **three**?" She asked, Junior turning around…the papers actually sticking clean into his ribcage.

"…pretty sure."

"I think you need to get some rest." Lilo admitted gently, patting him on the shoulder as he flinched, pulling the papers out and tossing them to the side with a deep sigh. "Do you really need to do it all by your lonesome?"

"Nobody else where is competent enough to do it." Junior mumbled. "As that boy band said, "Gueeesss whaaat? It's gonna be me"."

…

… "Must…must finish…this…this workload…" Junior groaned, hunched over at his desk, his eyes barely open. One red, one blue, barely conscious, struggling not to fall asleep. "C-can't…can't fall asleep…gotta…stay awake…" He murmured, reaching for the goblet by his desk, lifting it towards him. It was out of Wakey-Wakey brew. His own special blend that was guaranteed to make you pep up. Not even THIS could keep him going. And it was just one step away from being an illegal substance, that was how powerful it was!

Yet he couldn't lift it to his lips. Perhaps doing this alone had indeed been a poor idea. "Can't…f-fall…asleeeeeeeeep…" Junior whispered, at long last falling out of his chair and onto his back, darkness overtaking him, seeping into his vision, his every paw digit screaming in agony, just begging for him to STOP WRITING and-

"What?" The blue-furred, mammalian, butterfly-winged cutie inquired of Junior as he sat on his chest, smiling down tenderly at the Grand Councilman of the Galactic Federal Alliance, tail flittering back and forth. "You were expecting Freddy Krueger, maybe?" He asked of Junior, who gaped in surprise as the area around him began to shift from the pale blue walls of his office to long, rolling hillsides covered in mint grass, lollipop flower patches tickling his feet, as chocolate fudge rivers poured off of big rock candy mountains into chocolate ponds below.

"Wh…where am I?" Junior murmured in confusion, slowly rising up, glancing around this strange wonderland, the delightful scent of peppermint candy filling his nostrils, cotton candy trees whisping back and forth in the air.

"Why, you're in La-La-Land! Where Dreams are made of! This is the birthplace of every animated television special that ever existed, in fact!"

"I…I know you…" Junior whispered, looking the blue fairy-esque creature over as he hovered around him, paws behind his back, a cheery smile on his face. "You're…Damien, right?"

"Prince Damien!" Damien admitted cheerily. "And you've been so stressed out, I thought I'd cheer you by bringing you here, to the land of wonder and joy as I take you to Animated Christmas Special Forest!"

"Animated Christmas Special-" Junior began to say before Damien began dragging him deep, deep within the candy forest, Junior glancing about in confusion as he stared at the little woodland creatures who were all setting up Christmas lights and frilly things to set atop the trees. Each of them was cheerily whistling, bouncing their heads back and forth to the holiday tunes that filled the air as Damien halted in place and cringed.

"Oh. Forgot about this place. We need to cross this bridge to get deeper into the woods, but there's a hateful, evil troll here." He admitted, shaking his head back and forth as Junior heard a dark chuckle emanate from under the bridge they now stood before.

"Who is it? The Grinch? Snow Miser? That creepy vulture from-"

"Kirk Cameron." Prince Damien cringed, gesturing with a paw at the human that poked his head up, wearing a "Keep the Christ in Christmas" t-shirt and holding up a big, gaudy cross as he cheerily sang in mocking glee.

"**_All the kids go to bed each night to dream what Santa brings them!  
Unless they're Jewish, Muslim or some other gyp religion!_**"

"See, now that's not the Christmas spirit." Prince Damien remarked. "He has his _hate_ to keep him warm."

_**"And my collection of Asian porn!"** _Kirk added with a snigger as Damien pulled out a small little string of rosaries from a belt pouch he had, tossing it through the air. Mr. Cameron's floppy brown hair whipped about as he watched it soar, and he grinned in delight, chasing after it as the prince and his guest crossed the bridge.

"He's always being such a stick in the mud. And showing me pictures of a "Croco-Duck". IT'S NOT _FUNNY_ ANYMORE, KIRK!" Damien yelled out, shaking his fist in the direction Mr. Cameron had run off to as he and Junior made their way deeper, deeper into the forest, finally arriving at a clearing full of wondrous sights.

It was as if Santa himself had exploded all over the forest. There were Christmas lights strung up on every tree, with decorations aplenty and tinsel carefully arranged on each tree branch. There were long tables loaded up with food that towered to the heavens, all smelling delightful and delicious, tantalizing the senses whilst cute little elves and critters worked on wrapping up presents in seasonal, glittery bows. Frosty the Snowman was passing out gingerbread cookies on an enormous plate that looked like Santa's face whilst Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer was tugging along a few little dibbuns on a sleigh as they passed by miniature "snow castles". The kids tossed red and green confetti through the air to decorate the castles whilst Mr. Snow Miser and Mr. Heat Miser seemed to be in a disagreement on what kind of song the enormous choir, located to the right of the largest and most impressive tree in the clearing, was going to sing.

"Feliz Navidad!" Heat Miser demanded.

"Blue Christmas!"

"Mine is FAR more joyous and fitting of the spirit of Christmas!"

"MINE'S sung by "the King". You can't top that!"

"It's too depressing!"

"Half the forest doesn't even know any of the Spanish language!"

"Well half the song's in English anyway!"

"Guys, guys, please." The Little Drummer Boy insisted as he got between the two, pushing them apart and shaking his head. "Why don't you just do "Oi to the World" by the Vandals? That way it'll satisfy your need for something partying whilst still tackling more serious subject matters than "Happy Happy Christmas I'm so Happy"?"

The two Misers looked each other over, then sighed, nodding as they turned back to the choir, who rearranged themselves to better sing the song whilst the Little Drummer Boy held his hands up and cheerily smiled over at Prince Damien and Junior.

"Ooh. You alright?" Junior gently inquired.

"One hand's got third degree burns and the other has frostbite! I'm twaumatized." He cheerily intoned as Junior approached the little guy and rubbed the ring around his paw digit, a small golden goblet popping up in his paw as he motioned with his other paw for the Little Drummer Boy to open wide.

"Here. I'm "Temperance", a member of the Multidimensional Do-Gooder Organization known as the Major Arcana. I can make any kind of liquid appear, including healing potions. This'll treat your wounds." He offered, helping the kid down the red, lovely liquid down as the hands began to patch themselves together before their eyes, Prince Damien cheerily clasping his paws together.

"Wonderful! With your ability you can help us with the refreshments this year! Oh, would you, could you, please?"

"I…suppose." Junior admitted. "I admit, I, well, sort of missed seeing you animated Christmas specials." He sheepishly remarked as he sat down at a table and Linus from "Peanuts" put a blanket over his legs whilst Snoopy handed him a plate full of Christmas cookies for him to begin munching. "You used to bring me such cheer. Say, where IS the big guy Santa himself, anyhow?"

"He's doing some last minute preparations for Christmas. Checking in on a few…fence-sitters."  
Damien admitted with a wave of his paw.

Indeed he was. Old Saint Nick was sitting in front of his television, looking over a computer screen, analyzing a Facebook page of one "Prince Cain" and comparing it to one "Eric Cartman". "Hmmm. No misogynistic postings about the Jews in five weeks now. He must really not want coal in his stocking." The tubby, red-and-white clothed ol' Spirit of Christmas cheerily remarked, pointing with a white-gloved hand at a nearby elf. "Check that Twitter feed, stat!"

"Sir! We can confirm NO posts about seeing Mexicans everywhere!" The elf said, holding up an Ipad and nodding its little head, the bell atop its green cap bouncing up and down as Santa rubbed his enormous chin.

"And has he finished his Christmas shopping?"

"We can confirm he is not, repeat, **not** going to give a copy of Richard Dawkin's latest book to his brother for Christmas!"

"Phew. Alright. Made up my mind." Santa decided, putting his gloved hands on his hips and beaming proudly. "I'll be visiting him on Christmas, definitely."

"Sir, a request, sir!"

"Yessss?"

"Please put some trousers on, sir."

"Negative. I swore I'd not be wearing any pants this week. I WILL keep to that promise."

Meanwhile, Junior scratched his head. "Fence-sitters, huh?"

"The truth is that we've always been here, Junior. You were the one who was taken away." Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer sighed as he trotted over to Junior and nuzzled his head up against the Grand Councilman's body, Junior patting the little guy atop his head.

"Taken away? What do you mean?"

"You spent less and less time remembering what the season was meant to be about and too much time stressing out." Prince Damien remarked as he shook his head back and forth. "I mean, when was the last time you even put on a Christmas song to listen to?"

Junior cringed as he made his way over to the tables nearby and rubbed his ring again and again, little goblets of gold popping up, filled with eggnog, hot chocolate and delicious cider. "Oh, don't be like that. When you get older, you have responsibilities. I have a job to do."

"You owe many people much, but you owe yourself a little too." Prince Damien insisted, sipping from a mug of hot chocolate and letting out a satisfied sigh as smoke drifted through the air from the frosty mug. "You could probably ask your friends and family to help with the work and they'd be happy to do a bit for you so you could relax a little and enjoy Christmas. But you think you can do it all by yourself and that just makes you more and more stressed. And because everyone else around you is having fun, you blame the Christmas season instead of you."

"Everyone else has their own responsibilities. Besides, I can't ask Lilo to help me sort tax law."

"Have you even TRIED to ask them for help?"

Junior was about to say "yes", but then his protest died in his throat and he cringed. "…alright, I…suppose it wouldn't hurt to maybe check in on them and ask if they could help me. I guess I just…I mean, my wife Green does so much on her own, she's out there on her knees, planet after planet, helping them on her lonesome. She cured an entire famine by herself. My dad turned himself around and rebuilt his good name by himself, now he's got a great clinic, my children-"

"All of them had to get to where they are with others helping them along the way. You don't ever really do anything alone." Prince Damien said. "Your pride's just keeping you from asking for help. You don't need to handicap yourself. Just embrace the spirit of the holiday…extend a hand in need and you'll find a friend indeed!"

"You're right." Junior said, standing tall and proud. "I've got to head back and break out of this funk that's ruining my Holiday season. There's plenty of time for me to be grumpy around New Years anyway!"

"Yeah!...wait, what?" Prince Damien said, suddenly realizing what Junior had snuck in there before seeing Junior was already hugging everyone goodbye.

"Goodbye, Grinch. Goodbye, Rudolph. Goodbye, Frosty!"

"Goodbye, Sanity?" Splitter remarked in confusion, seeing Junior lying face-first on his desk, tapping his boss on the shoulder. Junior awoke with a start, almost flying out of his seat before patting himself down, blinking a few times and sighing. "Is everything alright?"

"Ohhh, I had the most magical dream. I went to the land of animated Christmas specials! And they gave me a great idea! I now know what I have to do to have a good time this Christmas."

"Oh? Really? What's that?" Splitter inquired.

"**Delegate!**" Junior proclaimed, putting a huge stack of papers into Splitter's hands with a loud TWHUMP and happily strolling out of the room. "Fill all those out by tomorrow. I'm off to go get cider."

"…_you're a mean one, Mr. Grinch_." Splitter grumbled darkly, glowering as he sat down at the desk and began to write.


End file.
